In case you need
further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (And that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could
be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions:
Use like regular soap." (And that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."(But, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed
on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."(Well... .Duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating."(... And you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
q On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this medication." (We could do a lot to Reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds
with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning:
May cause drowsiness." (And... I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."(As opposed to... what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning:
contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet
of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh... fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
I don't blame the company. I blame
the parents for this one:
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not
attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (... Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)