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STUPID INSTRUCTIONS
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In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

 

q       On a Sears   hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (And that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

 

q       On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special)?

 

q       On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how???....)

 

q       On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."(But, it's "just" a suggestion).

 

q       On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."(Well... .Duh, a bit late, huh)!

 

q       On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating."(... And you thought????...)

 

q       On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

 

q       On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to Reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

 

q       On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And... I'm taking this because???....)

 

q       On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."(As opposed to... what?)

 

q       On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

 

q       On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash)

 

q       On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh... fly Delta?)

 

q       On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

 

q       I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one:

 

q       On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (... Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)