Sign over a gynecologist's
office:
"Dr. Jones, at
your cervix."
At a military
hospital-door to colonoscopy:
"To expedite your
visit, please back in."
On a Plumber's
truck:
"We repair what
your husband fixed."
On the trucks
of a local plumbing company:
"Don't sleep with
a drip. Call your plumber."
Pizza shop slogan:
7 days without
pizza makes one weak."
Another Pizza
shop slogan:
"Buy our pizza.
We knead the dough."
At a tire shop
in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to
your next blowout."
Door of a plastic
surgeon's office:
"Hello. Can we
pick your nose?"
At a dry cleaners:
"How about we
refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close
the store and
have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?"
At a towing company:
"We don't charge
an arm and a leg. We want tows."
On an electrician's
truck:
"Let us remove
your shorts."
In a non-smoking
area:
"If we see smoke,
we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a maternity
room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
At an optometrist's
office:
"If you don't
see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
On a taxidermist's
window:
"We really know
our stuff."
In a podiatrist's
office:
"Time wounds all
heels."
On a fence:
"Salesmen welcome!
Dog food is expensive."
At a car dealership:
"The best way
to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside
a muffler shop:
"No appointment
necessary. We hear you coming."
In a veterinarian's
waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit!
Stay!"
At the electric
company:
"We would be de-lighted
if you pay your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
In a restaurant
window:
"Don't stand there
and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up."
In the front yard
of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully.
We'll wait."
At a propane filling
station:
"Tank heaven for
little grills."
And don't forget
the sign at a Chicago radiator shop:
"Best place in
town to take a leak."